I know.. but I'm not the only one feeling it. Moon is, too. And Aymeric... though the both of them are a lot better equipped to handle such difficult choices.
[ She. Isn't. Not by much anyway. Some she can- other times, like her and Alphinaud not giving up on Estinien even when he seemed doomed... or even allowing the Scions at Ultima Thule...
She sighs. ]
... That reminds me, Moon told me what "of the Oceans" meant. I can't believe he'll wed you before your own mates get to propose. Heh.
Mmm. Perhaps my wish was heard— I only wanted for you to not be responsible for our deaths if it came.
I didn't want to put that burden on you and Gaius.
[ :( aibouuu. But onto a better topic... ]
You did tell me. He reacted to it so adorably when I teased. But do I have to challenge him to have you be Estinien of the Utakata as well or Aymeric have you as ... I do not know how Ishgardian unions work, exactly. Would you be Varlineau or de Borel?
He'll be so baffled. Hmmm, maybe I could be Megumi Yukimura de Borel-Varlineau, Radiant Matriarch of the Utakata— gods, that's such a mouthful. Which you lot usually are, mind.
I've a feeling he might balk at the thought of being in that kind of position of authority. Imagine calling him Gaius zos Baelsar, Emperor of Garlemald. yae would make him the Crown Prince, wouldn't it.
[ She's chuckling now. ]
And I thought Megumi of the Utakata family was a lot... though...
[ Her voice softens. ]
There's something about that name you should know, eventually. It's nothing great, but— I suppose if anyone ought to know it first, it should be you all.
He would either balk at it, or take it with pride. He is a garlean through and through. If anyone were to rebuild Garlemald from the ground up it should be him. Aye?
[ Also chuckling trying to imagine “Estinien yae Baelsar”. He would suck as a prince. ]
Tell me? You know all of the secrets of mine own name and previous titles.
[ He can already tell, just by her demeanor that she is still holding some sort of guilt. He wishes there were things he could do to rid her of it. Bugbear and Cerberus would have both eaten shit if not for Echidna, and they wouldn't be sitting here right now.
Also he lays Nidhogg (the lance) next to them. He doesn't trust that some of those Tsuchi members might not still be berserking. ]
[ Which is the truth. She has her own lance in her aether pocket, and she kisses the side of Estinien's neck before moving her face in front of him, taking his face in her hands. ]
Though I suppose- there is some shame. Echidna may have saved you while we attacked Kraken, but what if they had attacked another while we struck at you... it shall pass, but this was far too close.
[ She shakes her head, leaning in to kiss his mouth and pushing their foreheads together. ]
We lived. Saturn was upset that we were all upset about it despite living- even if he felt badly for disappointing Vicious who had likely pushed for Cerberus too. We argued a bit, but we're fine now...
[ She cares for him as well, so she didn't like seeing him be irritable. ]
I never- I never wanted any of you to think we didn't want to protect you, too. Never for a moment. I think seeing him worry about that made me wonder.
[ He doesn't want to put the truth of the matter out there, but for the sake of it? He's going to. ]
Vicious and myself pushed for Cerberus because we wanted to try and put our faith in our bonds. While I do not think it would have been the wrong choice, diplomacy says that Kraken and Cerberus already had a prearranged agreement that neither myself nor Vicious were aware of.
Seeing the results? Had Echidna not protected Bugbear, which then protected Cerberus. We would have both been dead.
Whether or not you wanted to protect us or not, you have another team depending on you.
I didn't think that arrangement applied here, even though the last time I approached Nobara for it- and that was only because I knew of Bugbear's plans.
[ Her grip on Estinien tightens some more. ]
What's worse.. is that I callously told Saturn and Aymeric they weren't considering your hearts and should bear that in mind knowing how hurt you'd all be. How you would feel, being the cause of our deaths if we did this.
[ Not that she doesn't think they were being too logical about this. Even if they accounted for everything that could happen, as did she. ]
Vicious acted like he wouldn't care if he killed someone, yet he confronted me for saying that to Saturn. I have to make it up to him too.
[ Suffice it to say, she's not really feeling like a good person and needs to do better. ]
I suppose this is why the Scions make the decisions and I follow them.
[ He just, rubs her back. He knows that they didn't give anyone a choice the last time. Especially what with how Bugbear planned their own demise the last time. ]
We wouldn't have felt great, and there would be more tension right now...surely.
[ Estinien doesn't know how to help this. ]
If it will cause you conflict, I would prefer that you not worry so hard about me.
You ask me to stop breathing if I stop worrying for you- and Gaius, my love.
[ She exhales softly, her ears lowering. ]
But Minato... he said- it was important that both sides were heard. If one side needed the emotion, we would have those to give it- and for those that needed logic to the emotions- such would be so. 'Tis how we came together on the matter.
[ She exhales. ]
... we ought to probably feel fortunate nothing did happen. In the future... should anything happen to me- or anyone you love. Please stop us from hurting anyone else. I will do the same for you...
[ If all deaths go the same way, then she has to say this now. ]
I'm just glad we lived. Even if Raha... [ Her voice wavers and she steels herself before continuing- ]
Then I will not ask of you to stop worrying. I just cannot change what is before us right now and it frustrates me.
[ He doesn't get frustrated enough to leave the conversation though, he has become a slightly better man than that. ]
No one questioned me or Vicious on the decision. To think the new ones trusted us so blindly. One asked a few more questions than the others...but, aye.
[ He rubs her back. ]
You know how it goes. He will be himself soon enough.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
finalsteps) wrote2022-01-20 08:10 am
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I forgave you before you ever asked for it. What else can I do for you? Do you need to come over?
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[ She sniffs and is trying to sound a little more cheerful. ]
You might have a whole party visiting at this rate, aye...? Wait for me?
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[ Back home she had other things to worry about to not linger, here it's a bit harder. ]
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[ She. Isn't. Not by much anyway. Some she can- other times, like her and Alphinaud not giving up on Estinien even when he seemed doomed... or even allowing the Scions at Ultima Thule...
She sighs. ]
... That reminds me, Moon told me what "of the Oceans" meant. I can't believe he'll wed you before your own mates get to propose. Heh.
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[ He has to start being more mindful. ]
I told you we deepened our bond, didn’t I?
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I didn't want to put that burden on you and Gaius.
[ :( aibouuu. But onto a better topic... ]
You did tell me. He reacted to it so adorably when I teased. But do I have to challenge him to have you be Estinien of the Utakata as well or Aymeric have you as ... I do not know how Ishgardian unions work, exactly. Would you be Varlineau or de Borel?
[ She sounds so amused now. ]
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[ SNRK. ]
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[ Such a better topic. She giggles finally. ]
He'll be so baffled. Hmmm, maybe I could be Megumi Yukimura de Borel-Varlineau, Radiant Matriarch of the Utakata— gods, that's such a mouthful. Which you lot usually are, mind.
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If he decided to rule Garlemald’s rebuild one of us would be yae Baelsar.
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[ She's chuckling now. ]
And I thought Megumi of the Utakata family was a lot... though...
[ Her voice softens. ]
There's something about that name you should know, eventually. It's nothing great, but— I suppose if anyone ought to know it first, it should be you all.
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[ Also chuckling trying to imagine “Estinien yae Baelsar”. He would suck as a prince. ]
Tell me? You know all of the secrets of mine own name and previous titles.
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[ She exhales softly. ]
... let me see you in person? Seems a little impersonal to tell you over this device, aye?
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[ Who he trusts is okay, he hopes. ]
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I'll wait by the shore.
[ G'raha is unconscious and recovering. She can worry about him when the time comes. ]
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I’ll see you soon.
[ And he goes! He will be waiting for her at the beach. ]
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And when he does, she's just going to move between his legs and wrap her arms around him, hugging him tight and not moving for a bit. ]
An Ehsk.
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Also he lays Nidhogg (the lance) next to them. He doesn't trust that some of those Tsuchi members might not still be berserking. ]
You still have the face of someone who is guilty.
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[ Which is the truth. She has her own lance in her aether pocket, and she kisses the side of Estinien's neck before moving her face in front of him, taking his face in her hands. ]
Though I suppose- there is some shame. Echidna may have saved you while we attacked Kraken, but what if they had attacked another while we struck at you... it shall pass, but this was far too close.
[ She shakes her head, leaning in to kiss his mouth and pushing their foreheads together. ]
We lived. Saturn was upset that we were all upset about it despite living- even if he felt badly for disappointing Vicious who had likely pushed for Cerberus too. We argued a bit, but we're fine now...
[ She cares for him as well, so she didn't like seeing him be irritable. ]
I never- I never wanted any of you to think we didn't want to protect you, too. Never for a moment. I think seeing him worry about that made me wonder.
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[ He doesn't want to put the truth of the matter out there, but for the sake of it? He's going to. ]
Vicious and myself pushed for Cerberus because we wanted to try and put our faith in our bonds. While I do not think it would have been the wrong choice, diplomacy says that Kraken and Cerberus already had a prearranged agreement that neither myself nor Vicious were aware of.
Seeing the results? Had Echidna not protected Bugbear, which then protected Cerberus. We would have both been dead.
Whether or not you wanted to protect us or not, you have another team depending on you.
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I didn't think that arrangement applied here, even though the last time I approached Nobara for it- and that was only because I knew of Bugbear's plans.
[ Her grip on Estinien tightens some more. ]
What's worse.. is that I callously told Saturn and Aymeric they weren't considering your hearts and should bear that in mind knowing how hurt you'd all be. How you would feel, being the cause of our deaths if we did this.
[ Not that she doesn't think they were being too logical about this. Even if they accounted for everything that could happen, as did she. ]
Vicious acted like he wouldn't care if he killed someone, yet he confronted me for saying that to Saturn. I have to make it up to him too.
[ Suffice it to say, she's not really feeling like a good person and needs to do better. ]
I suppose this is why the Scions make the decisions and I follow them.
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We wouldn't have felt great, and there would be more tension right now...surely.
[ Estinien doesn't know how to help this. ]
If it will cause you conflict, I would prefer that you not worry so hard about me.
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[ She exhales softly, her ears lowering. ]
But Minato... he said- it was important that both sides were heard. If one side needed the emotion, we would have those to give it- and for those that needed logic to the emotions- such would be so. 'Tis how we came together on the matter.
[ She exhales. ]
... we ought to probably feel fortunate nothing did happen. In the future... should anything happen to me- or anyone you love. Please stop us from hurting anyone else. I will do the same for you...
[ If all deaths go the same way, then she has to say this now. ]
I'm just glad we lived. Even if Raha... [ Her voice wavers and she steels herself before continuing- ]
—he's not himself right now.
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[ He doesn't get frustrated enough to leave the conversation though, he has become a slightly better man than that. ]
No one questioned me or Vicious on the decision. To think the new ones trusted us so blindly. One asked a few more questions than the others...but, aye.
[ He rubs her back. ]
You know how it goes. He will be himself soon enough.
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