[ He can already tell, just by her demeanor that she is still holding some sort of guilt. He wishes there were things he could do to rid her of it. Bugbear and Cerberus would have both eaten shit if not for Echidna, and they wouldn't be sitting here right now.
Also he lays Nidhogg (the lance) next to them. He doesn't trust that some of those Tsuchi members might not still be berserking. ]
[ Which is the truth. She has her own lance in her aether pocket, and she kisses the side of Estinien's neck before moving her face in front of him, taking his face in her hands. ]
Though I suppose- there is some shame. Echidna may have saved you while we attacked Kraken, but what if they had attacked another while we struck at you... it shall pass, but this was far too close.
[ She shakes her head, leaning in to kiss his mouth and pushing their foreheads together. ]
We lived. Saturn was upset that we were all upset about it despite living- even if he felt badly for disappointing Vicious who had likely pushed for Cerberus too. We argued a bit, but we're fine now...
[ She cares for him as well, so she didn't like seeing him be irritable. ]
I never- I never wanted any of you to think we didn't want to protect you, too. Never for a moment. I think seeing him worry about that made me wonder.
[ He doesn't want to put the truth of the matter out there, but for the sake of it? He's going to. ]
Vicious and myself pushed for Cerberus because we wanted to try and put our faith in our bonds. While I do not think it would have been the wrong choice, diplomacy says that Kraken and Cerberus already had a prearranged agreement that neither myself nor Vicious were aware of.
Seeing the results? Had Echidna not protected Bugbear, which then protected Cerberus. We would have both been dead.
Whether or not you wanted to protect us or not, you have another team depending on you.
I didn't think that arrangement applied here, even though the last time I approached Nobara for it- and that was only because I knew of Bugbear's plans.
[ Her grip on Estinien tightens some more. ]
What's worse.. is that I callously told Saturn and Aymeric they weren't considering your hearts and should bear that in mind knowing how hurt you'd all be. How you would feel, being the cause of our deaths if we did this.
[ Not that she doesn't think they were being too logical about this. Even if they accounted for everything that could happen, as did she. ]
Vicious acted like he wouldn't care if he killed someone, yet he confronted me for saying that to Saturn. I have to make it up to him too.
[ Suffice it to say, she's not really feeling like a good person and needs to do better. ]
I suppose this is why the Scions make the decisions and I follow them.
[ He just, rubs her back. He knows that they didn't give anyone a choice the last time. Especially what with how Bugbear planned their own demise the last time. ]
We wouldn't have felt great, and there would be more tension right now...surely.
[ Estinien doesn't know how to help this. ]
If it will cause you conflict, I would prefer that you not worry so hard about me.
You ask me to stop breathing if I stop worrying for you- and Gaius, my love.
[ She exhales softly, her ears lowering. ]
But Minato... he said- it was important that both sides were heard. If one side needed the emotion, we would have those to give it- and for those that needed logic to the emotions- such would be so. 'Tis how we came together on the matter.
[ She exhales. ]
... we ought to probably feel fortunate nothing did happen. In the future... should anything happen to me- or anyone you love. Please stop us from hurting anyone else. I will do the same for you...
[ If all deaths go the same way, then she has to say this now. ]
I'm just glad we lived. Even if Raha... [ Her voice wavers and she steels herself before continuing- ]
Then I will not ask of you to stop worrying. I just cannot change what is before us right now and it frustrates me.
[ He doesn't get frustrated enough to leave the conversation though, he has become a slightly better man than that. ]
No one questioned me or Vicious on the decision. To think the new ones trusted us so blindly. One asked a few more questions than the others...but, aye.
[ He rubs her back. ]
You know how it goes. He will be himself soon enough.
It is. 'tis mine name to address by those not of mine family. You recall that I grew up in Othard, aye? 'twas easier for my family to adopt a name more suited to the region. But I was born with another.
My birth name is Meihmi, of the Jomalah family. 'tis a name I would only allow mine mates to call me, through a reassured bond. The last person to call me such was my former husband.
[ She's giggling, before she takes his face into her hands and looks at him lovingly. ]
Every sun, I give thanks that you and I met, Estinien. You've the kindest, bravest, most loving soul I've ever had the fortune of knowing. You love so deeply, you give so much, unasked...
You were my partner long before we were anything more. I don't have much else to give you for all you've given me... so if you would have this, then you may. You needn't call me so if you find it strange, though.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
finalsteps) wrote2022-01-20 08:10 am
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And when he does, she's just going to move between his legs and wrap her arms around him, hugging him tight and not moving for a bit. ]
An Ehsk.
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Also he lays Nidhogg (the lance) next to them. He doesn't trust that some of those Tsuchi members might not still be berserking. ]
You still have the face of someone who is guilty.
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[ Which is the truth. She has her own lance in her aether pocket, and she kisses the side of Estinien's neck before moving her face in front of him, taking his face in her hands. ]
Though I suppose- there is some shame. Echidna may have saved you while we attacked Kraken, but what if they had attacked another while we struck at you... it shall pass, but this was far too close.
[ She shakes her head, leaning in to kiss his mouth and pushing their foreheads together. ]
We lived. Saturn was upset that we were all upset about it despite living- even if he felt badly for disappointing Vicious who had likely pushed for Cerberus too. We argued a bit, but we're fine now...
[ She cares for him as well, so she didn't like seeing him be irritable. ]
I never- I never wanted any of you to think we didn't want to protect you, too. Never for a moment. I think seeing him worry about that made me wonder.
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[ He doesn't want to put the truth of the matter out there, but for the sake of it? He's going to. ]
Vicious and myself pushed for Cerberus because we wanted to try and put our faith in our bonds. While I do not think it would have been the wrong choice, diplomacy says that Kraken and Cerberus already had a prearranged agreement that neither myself nor Vicious were aware of.
Seeing the results? Had Echidna not protected Bugbear, which then protected Cerberus. We would have both been dead.
Whether or not you wanted to protect us or not, you have another team depending on you.
no subject
I didn't think that arrangement applied here, even though the last time I approached Nobara for it- and that was only because I knew of Bugbear's plans.
[ Her grip on Estinien tightens some more. ]
What's worse.. is that I callously told Saturn and Aymeric they weren't considering your hearts and should bear that in mind knowing how hurt you'd all be. How you would feel, being the cause of our deaths if we did this.
[ Not that she doesn't think they were being too logical about this. Even if they accounted for everything that could happen, as did she. ]
Vicious acted like he wouldn't care if he killed someone, yet he confronted me for saying that to Saturn. I have to make it up to him too.
[ Suffice it to say, she's not really feeling like a good person and needs to do better. ]
I suppose this is why the Scions make the decisions and I follow them.
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We wouldn't have felt great, and there would be more tension right now...surely.
[ Estinien doesn't know how to help this. ]
If it will cause you conflict, I would prefer that you not worry so hard about me.
no subject
[ She exhales softly, her ears lowering. ]
But Minato... he said- it was important that both sides were heard. If one side needed the emotion, we would have those to give it- and for those that needed logic to the emotions- such would be so. 'Tis how we came together on the matter.
[ She exhales. ]
... we ought to probably feel fortunate nothing did happen. In the future... should anything happen to me- or anyone you love. Please stop us from hurting anyone else. I will do the same for you...
[ If all deaths go the same way, then she has to say this now. ]
I'm just glad we lived. Even if Raha... [ Her voice wavers and she steels herself before continuing- ]
—he's not himself right now.
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[ He doesn't get frustrated enough to leave the conversation though, he has become a slightly better man than that. ]
No one questioned me or Vicious on the decision. To think the new ones trusted us so blindly. One asked a few more questions than the others...but, aye.
[ He rubs her back. ]
You know how it goes. He will be himself soon enough.
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[ She chuckles quietly. ]
You do more than enough by simply being here and not leaping away in a panic, An Ehsk.
[ She smiles and looks up, touching his cheek. ]
You know you're part of my heart, aye?
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[ Remember when he literally came to her room, and then jumped out of the window??? Yeah. ]
You are part of mine, as well.
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... then I suppose 'tis alright to speak of this... I just felt you ought to know it now. Not that it changes things any. 'tis about mine given name.
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[ Fair enough, Estinien did not say his given family name for quite some time. ]
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My birth name is Meihmi, of the Jomalah family. 'tis a name I would only allow mine mates to call me, through a reassured bond. The last person to call me such was my former husband.
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[ Squinting, but playfully. ]
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Every day it amazes me how much anyone here trusts me.
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Every sun, I give thanks that you and I met, Estinien. You've the kindest, bravest, most loving soul I've ever had the fortune of knowing. You love so deeply, you give so much, unasked...
You were my partner long before we were anything more. I don't have much else to give you for all you've given me... so if you would have this, then you may. You needn't call me so if you find it strange, though.
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You said it was for your mates, and, it would not make me uncomfortable to call you so. But I would want it to be between us.
[ ///////////// ]
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[ She strokes his cheek gently. ]
I would not wish this name used so casually, either.
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[ He kisses her forehead. ]
It is important that you shared with me this name.
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Thank you.
[ Squeezing!! ]
Stay with me awhile...?